Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Off the Grid and Into the Cave

This will be the last post for a while. Early on Saturday morning I will depart in an automobile for Sevenhill, South Australia, the natal location of the Society of Jesus in Australia. The Wikipedia page does not really do the place justice, I am given to understand. You see, upon arriving in Australia, the Jesuits there discovered that they were unable to acquire suitable altar wines for use at Mass. Being rational, intelligent men, they did the logical thing and started their own vineyard. The vineyard is still under the ownership of the Society and there is even a Jesuit there who is listed as "Winemaker Emeritus" in the Australian province catalog. (Oh that the Society owned a brewery, I would have a position to aspire to; "Brewmaster Emeritus." Oh, I could get used to the sound of that.) The website for the winery, if you would like more information about the austerity to which I am going to subject myself, is located here. Taste the history in every drop indeed. You may wish to order some of the wares from the website so that you may determine their suitability for your uses.

So, some of you are asking yourselves, what, exactly, is he going to do there? I will be making the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. For those of you not in the loop on that, it means that I will be sequestered in silence for 30 days, more or less. Praying 4-5 hours per day. A more detailed survey of the Exercises is found here. At this point, many of you who know me are chortling to yourselves. "Keep his mouth shut for 30 days? Unlikely..." you titter. (I can hear you tittering, you know.) Each Jesuit makes the Exercises at least twice in his life: as a novice and as a tertian. Some may make the Exercises more, but twice would be more typical. I will have it known that during my first pass at the Exercises, I was one of four retreatants and my classmates commented on my rigid adherence to the instructions on silence and modesty of the eyes. I believe the exact phrase they used was "Silence Nazi," but I may be incorrect. I doubt it though, a phrase like "Silence Nazi" stays with you. It was interesting to note the inverse relationship between introversion and silence; curiously enough, my first time around, the more introverted an individual was, the less need they felt to observe the silence. My moniker may tell you something about the depths of my extroversion...

I look forward to this second turn at the Exercises. One of the other features of the Exercises from my first time around was that I was quite certain I had broken them. That is, I was so afraid of doing them correctly, that there was no way I could do them correctly, if you follow me. Good things happened, to be sure, but my rigid need to follow the letter and execute them perfectly also (probably) got in the way of what God desired to do with me. 18 years on, I think I'm in a different space internally. At least I hope I am. One of the places I hope I am more free is on retreat. It is now my experience that God, like a good guerilla, will dictate the terms of engagement. Do I come to the retreat with my own hopes and expectations? My own 'agenda' if you will? Yes, absolutely. How could I not do so? But somewhere in the last eighteen years I learned that God will take control of these types of things and do with you as he will, not necessarily what you expected to happen. So I have certain questions that I approach the experience with, things I would like answered. I am also completely open to God bringing me to a place I cannot forsee or expect. That is God's job, as near as I can tell, to be quite honest.

So I note that some of you gentle readers frequent this haunt with regularity (I have my ways of knowing, as I'm sure you know, if you know me...). I do not want you to be shocked when these airwaves go silent for a month or so. If you're the praying type, I'd ask you to pray for us (all 13 of us will be making this journey, separately together, if you will.) If you're not, then you may observe the natural beauty of the place on the website and wonder what delights of vinticulture I am immersing myself in. It shall be an adventure, I know that. A few thrills, a couple spills and maybe something I don't even know yet...I look forward to it. See you in a month.